1. Make a Detailed List Of The Parent You Want To Be
Include at least 10 characteristics of what an ideal parent is to you. For example, you could say you want to be calm, kind, and affectionate. There is a free handout to help at the bottom of this article! Read more about setting expectations as a parent.
2. Write 3 Things You Want To Change About Your Parenting
Get specific and write out all the details. I would even suggest writing a story down of an example of the parenting characteristics or actions you want to change. This will help you clarify the issues and pinpoint what you want to change and how you may be able to do so.
3. Make An Action Plan
Write a detailed plan for the new behaviors you are going to use to replace your old unwanted behaviors. GET SPECIFIC. For example, instead of telling when my kids aren’t listening I will calmly give them two choices. Write yourself an example to make it real: “You can get your shoes on by yourself or I can help you.”
4. Make a List of 3 Ways You Will Bond With Your Child(ren)
Choose specific activities that you will both enjoy and can do regularly. Also try to choose activities that allow you to chat and focus on each other. For example, if your child is sporty, instead of playing laser tag or something with a lot of distractions, try putt-putt golf so there’s lots of time to chat. Some ideas for bonding with younger children is art activities, going on a walk, or some of these easy activities. Whatever you choose, schedule it in at least twice monthly. Get a calendar or planner, write it down, and stick to it. The consistency of your efforts will mean the world to your child (whether their old enough to express it or not).
5. Reflect and Improve
Although reflection requires a lot of effort, it will by far make the biggest difference in your parenting. Take time at least weekly to check in on your parenting goals and see if you’re meeting them. If not, where can you make little adjustments to make the goals more obtainable. What new examples can you write down to help remember and put into action the way you want to parent? With each reflection, you’ll be able to better embody your parenting goals.
Free parenting goals handout!
You may also find How To Be A Better Parent and The Secret To Being A Calm Mom helpful!
I had said a million times there are things I’d like to improve as a parent, but have not actually pit ateps in place to make those changes a reality. Thank you for this excellent resource and solid steps to accomplish my parenting goals.
I’m so happy you found it helpful! I definitely have done that as well and not until I started putting goals down and getting the resources did I actually see changes.
I love this! So many of my resolutions have to do with improving myself when such a big part of who I and and actually what I am insecure about is motherhood. Why not start there?!
Yes! It’s such a huge part of who we are as mothers. Feeling secure, confident, and aligned as a parent can make everything else feel easier and more positive!
I love your ideas about bonding time. I have a friend that has a lot of children and she schedules in special time with each one each week. This is a goal of mine for the new year.
That’s wonderful! I think one of the best things we can give our kids is just our focused time.
Love this! Being a better parent is a goal of mine for 2020 and I’m planning to read a few books and take a course. It’s all in the planning for sure!
Thank you! It really is. It’s about making real parenting goals and figuring out how to make the changes we need to make. I’m always working on my parenting, I can’t imagine I’ll ever be done growing and learning as a mother!