Raising Confident & Emotionally Intelligent Children: Play & Mindful Motherhood

In a world that places increasing demands and pressures on young minds, parents play a crucial role in fostering their children’s mental well-being and cultivating a strong sense of confidence and empowerment. Drawing from the principles of unschooling, outdoor play, risky play, and mindful parenting (or any of the mix that best fits your family’s needs), we can create an environment that nurtures our children’s mental health and equips them with the tools to thrive in today’s challenging landscape.

Unschooling: Fostering Intrinsic Confidence

Unschooling, an educational philosophy that emphasizes self-directed learning, helps children develop a natural sense of curiosity and ownership over their education. This approach encourages children to pursue their interests, ask questions, and explore their passions, leading to a strong sense of intrinsic motivation and self-confidence. By trusting their ability to learn and adapt, unschooling empowers children to believe in themselves and their capacity to navigate the world with confidence.

Unschooling, a pedagogical philosophy rooted in self-directed learning, is a dynamic approach that resonates deeply with my background in child development. Extensive research underscores the pivotal role of unschooling in nurturing children’s intrinsic confidence, ultimately shaping them into individuals who are not only well-prepared for future challenges but also possess a solid sense of self-assuredness.

Research by educational psychologist Edward L. Deci and Richard M. Ryan has shown that intrinsic motivation is a critical component of psychological well-being. Unschooling excels in fostering this motivation by allowing children to steer their learning journey based on their genuine interests and curiosities. This approach taps into their innate desire for autonomy and self-determination, igniting a sense of ownership over their education.

For instance, when my five year old daughter exhibited a fascination for marine life, our unschooling approach enabled her to delve deeply into this subject. Guided by her interests, she explored marine biology books, visited aquariums, and conducted online research. This self-directed pursuit fostered a sense of accomplishment and ownership, leading her to feel empowered to explore further and tackle more complex concepts.

Moreover, a longitudinal study conducted by Peter Gray and Gina Riley found that unschooled children often develop advanced decision-making and self-regulation skills due to the autonomy they experience in their education. This autonomy is a crucial catalyst for intrinsic confidence. When children are given the freedom to shape their learning experiences, they become active participants rather than passive recipients. This dynamic process builds a reservoir of self-assurance, as they recognize their capacity to set goals, manage their time, and adapt to new challenges.

In my own journey as an unschooling mom with a background in child development, I’ve witnessed my daughters’ confidence blossoming as they explore topics that genuinely captivate their attention. This authenticity of exploration infuses them with a belief in their capacity to understand complex concepts, seek out knowledge independently, and articulate their ideas with conviction.

Outdoor Time: Connecting with Nature and Self

The benefits of spending time outdoors are immense. Nature offers a serene backdrop that fosters emotional well-being and enhances mental clarity. Engaging in outdoor activities allows children to disconnect from screens and distractions, providing a space for self-discovery, creativity, and emotional expression. Outdoor play not only promotes physical health but also supports cognitive development and emotional resilience, allowing children to build a strong foundation of mental well-being.

Stepping into the realm of outdoor exploration and nature-based experiences, my background in child development and my commitment to unschooling converge to illuminate the invaluable role that nature plays in nurturing children’s mental well-being. Research has consistently underscored the profound positive impact of outdoor time on children’s psychological, emotional, and cognitive development.

To raise a nature-bonded child is to raise a rebel, a dreamer, an innovator… someone who will walk their own verdant, winding path.

Nicolette Sowder

The “restorative theory” proposed by environmental psychologists such as Rachel Kaplan suggests that nature possesses a unique ability to restore mental fatigue and enhance cognitive functioning. Time spent in natural environments allows children to detach from the stimuli of modern life, providing a peaceful backdrop that rejuvenates their minds and promotes emotional well-being. Studies have demonstrated that exposure to nature can reduce stress, anxiety, and attention fatigue, leading to improved overall mental health.

Moreover, the Attention Restoration Theory (ART) postulated by psychologists Stephen and Rachel Kaplan posits that natural environments elicit involuntary attention, allowing the brain’s directed attention mechanisms to recharge. This restoration of attentional resources has been linked to enhanced problem-solving abilities, creativity, and cognitive flexibility. By engaging in outdoor play and exploration, children are not only reaping physical health benefits but also cultivating a mental landscape primed for optimal learning and development.

Richard Louv, an advocate for nature-rich childhoods, coined the term “Nature Deficit Disorder” to highlight the detrimental consequences of children’s disconnection from the natural world. His research suggests that reduced exposure to nature can lead to a range of psychological challenges, including increased stress, diminished cognitive functioning, and even attention disorders. On the flip side, immersing children in outdoor environments offers a counterbalance, fostering improved mood, reduced stress levels, and enhanced overall psychological well-being.

As a mom who prioritizes time outdoors, I’ve witnessed firsthand the transformative effects of outdoor exploration on my own children. From exploring nearby forests to picnicking by lakes, these experiences have nurtured their curiosity, encouraged creative expression, and offered them a sense of calm.

Incorporating outdoor time into our unschooling routine aligns seamlessly with the tenets of child development research. By providing opportunities for children to connect with nature, we’re offering them a sanctuary for mental rejuvenation, emotional expression, and cognitive growth. These experiences serve as a potent reminder that the natural world is not just a backdrop but an essential ingredient for cultivating robust mental well-being in our children.

Play is the foundation of learning, creativity, self-expression, and constructive problem-solving. It’s how children wrestle with life to make it meaningful.

Susan Linn
Contemporary American psychiatrist

Risky Play: Navigating Challenges and Building Resilience

While modern parenting often emphasizes safety, exposing children to controlled risks through risky play can be immensely beneficial. Climbing trees, exploring uneven terrain, and engaging in adventurous activities teach children valuable skills such as assessing risks, problem-solving, and building resilience. These experiences instill a sense of agency, teaching children to trust their judgment and cope effectively with setbacks. By gradually allowing children to face manageable challenges, we empower them to overcome obstacles and develop a sense of mastery over their environment.

Embracing the concept of risky play as an integral part of my unschooling approach, fortified by my mastery in child development, unveils a realm where calculated challenges become catalysts for fostering resilience and shaping confident individuals. Research and real-life examples vividly illustrate the profound positive impact of allowing children to engage in controlled risky play.

Researchers like Ellen Beate Hansen Sandseter have highlighted the critical role of risky play in promoting children’s physical, emotional, and cognitive development. Sandseter’s “six categories of risky play” encompass activities such as climbing, jumping from heights, and exploring on one’s own. Engaging in these activities not only fosters physical strength, balance, and coordination, but also stimulates the development of risk assessment skills and decision-making abilities.

A study published in the journal of Pediatrics found that children who engage in risky outdoor play are more likely to exhibit enhanced motor skills, self-confidence, and social skills. The study emphasized that activities involving risk allow children to develop a better sense of their own capabilities and limitations. For instance, when my youngest daughter decided to navigate climbing the tree in our yard, she honed her motor skills, learned to assess potential challenges, and developed self-reliance – attributes that are pivotal for her future success.

Furthermore, psychologist Peter Gray’s research emphasizes that risky play not only equips children with physical skills but also cultivates emotional resilience. By experiencing challenges and setbacks in a controlled environment, children learn to cope with discomfort and uncertainty. These experiences lead to the development of a “can-do” attitude, instilling a belief that they can overcome adversity.

In my journey as an unschooling mom with a foundation in child development, I’ve witnessed how engaging in risky play has bolstered my daughters’ self-esteem and fortitude and done the same for many children I’ve worked with over the years. Whether they’re balancing on logs over a small stream or making stick forts, these activities empower them to take calculated risks and experience the exhilaration of conquering challenges.

By weaving risky play into our unschooling approach, we’re not only aligning with established research but also nurturing traits that are essential for success in various facets of life. Through these experiences, our children learn to navigate uncertainty, make informed decisions, and stand resilient in the face of difficulties. By embracing controlled risks, we’re sculpting individuals who are not just confident but also adept at confronting life’s complexities with poise and determination.

Mindful Parenting: Cultivating Emotional Intelligence

Mindful parenting involves being fully present and attuned to your child’s needs, feelings, and experiences. This practice encourages open communication, active listening, and empathy, which are essential components of emotional intelligence. By validating their emotions and creating a safe space for expression, parents enable their children to develop a healthy relationship with their feelings. This foundation of emotional intelligence equips children with the tools to navigate relationships, manage stress, and develop a positive self-image.

Encompassing the essence of emotional intelligence, mindful parenting intertwines seamlessly with my aligned parenting flow. This nurturing approach unlocks a realm where empathy, open communication, and a deep connection with my children lay the foundation for emotional resilience and a harmonious family dynamic. Grounded in research, mindful parenting serves as a cornerstone in my journey through intentional and aligned motherhood.

Research by psychologists John Gottman and Daniel Goleman underscores the pivotal role of emotional intelligence in personal and interpersonal success. By nurturing emotional intelligence through mindful parenting, we’re equipping our children with essential skills that contribute to effective communication, conflict resolution, and the formation of healthy relationships.

Practicing mindful parenting involves creating a space for open communication and genuine understanding. When my oldest daughter encountered a challenging situation with a friend, I approached the conversation with active listening and empathy. This allowed her to share her feelings without fear of judgment, fostering a sense of safety and mutual respect. Through such interactions, our children learn that their emotions are valid and deserving of acknowledgment, setting the stage for them to develop a robust emotional vocabulary and regulation tools.

Mindful parenting also encourages us to model emotional regulation. Research by Mark Greenberg suggests that children learn to manage their emotions by observing how their caregivers navigate their own feelings. By acknowledging our emotions and demonstrating healthy coping mechanisms, we’re teaching our children the invaluable skill of managing their emotional responses constructively.

In my journey, I’ve found that incorporating mindful practices, such as deep breathing exercises or mindful storytelling, facilitates emotional bonding and regulation. These practices not only enhance communication but also create moments of shared presence and connection. My “Becoming The Wild Mother Journal” and The one-on-one coaching sessions offer parents a compass to navigate the terrain of mindful parenting, allowing them to align their approach with their values, and find ease in the complex journey of raising emotionally intelligent children.

As an unschooling mama who loves mindful parenting, I’ve witnessed how this approach not only enriches our family dynamic but also nurtures the emotional growth of my daughters. By cultivating open communication, empathy, and self-awareness, we’re nurturing individuals who are not only well-prepared for the challenges of life but also equipped to navigate them with emotional resilience and grace.

Incorporating unschooling principles, outdoor play, risky play, and mindful parenting into our children’s lives can have a profound impact on their mental health and overall well-being. These practices encourage self-discovery, resilience, and a deep connection with themselves and the world around them. By nurturing their confidence, empowering their choices, and fostering emotional intelligence, we are laying the groundwork for children who are not only mentally strong but also equipped to thrive in an ever-changing world.

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Back to.. Unschooling? Preparing For A Year of Unschooling

Hey fellow unschooling families! As we eagerly prepare for another enriching year of child-led learning, I can’t help but feel a rush of excitement and curiosity for the journey ahead. Unschooling has been a game-changer for us, and I’m thrilled to share some essential tips that have helped us create a thriving learning environment. So, let’s dive in and get ready for a fantastic year of unschooling and embracing the magic of emergent learning!

Tips To Start Your Unschooling Journey

  1. Set Intentions: Clarify your goals and values for unschooling to guide your journey.
    1. Flexible Routine: Create a loose schedule that allows for exploration and spontaneity.
    2. Interest-Led Learning: Follow your child’s passions and interests to fuel their curiosity.
    3. Resources: Gather a variety of books, online courses, and educational materials.
    4. Real-World Exposure: Encourage hands-on experiences, visits to museums, nature trips, etc.
    5. Document Progress: Keep a journal or portfolio to track your child’s learning adventures.
    6. Connect with Community: Join local unschooling groups or online communities for support.
    7. Encourage Autonomy: Let your child take ownership of their learning journey.
    8. Embrace Failure: Mistakes are opportunities for growth; don’t fear setbacks.
    9. Reflect and Adjust: Regularly assess what’s working and adapt your approach as needed.

Remember, unschooling is about fostering a love for learning through freedom and exploration. There are many way we can set the environment and support our children on their learning journeys.

Setting The Stage For A Successful Year of Unschooling

1. Cultivating a Curiosity-Rich Haven

Picture this: our home as a curiosity playground, bursting with endless possibilities. We’ve filled it with books, art supplies, science kits, and more! By surrounding our kids with resources that match their interests, we empower them to explore, ask questions, and dive deep into their passions.

• Books: Curate a diverse collection of fiction, non-fiction, and reference books to cater to your child’s interests and passions.
• Art Supplies: Fill your home with various art materials, such as colored pencils, markers, watercolors, and sketchbooks, to encourage artistic expression.
• Science Kits: Explore the wonders of science with hands-on kits that cover topics like chemistry, physics, and biology.
• Educational Games: Incorporate board games, puzzles, and educational toys that encourage problem-solving and critical thinking.

2. Embracing the Beauty of Flexibility

Ah, the joy of ditching rigid schedules and standardized curriculums! Unschooling lets us go with the flow, following our children’s interests wherever they lead. Being adaptable and open to change allows us to tailor learning opportunities uniquely for our kids.

• Learning Journals: Encourage your child to keep a journal where they can jot down their thoughts, observations, and newfound knowledge.
• Portable Devices: Consider investing in tablets or laptops for on-the-go research and access to online learning resources.

“I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.”

― Albert Einstein

3. Unleashing Creativity and Self-Expression

Oh, the masterpiece of creativity! We’ve opened the doors for our kids to let their imaginations run wild. Art, music, drama – you name it! Creating a nurturing space where self-expression flourishes is pure magic.

• Musical Instruments: Unleash your child’s musical talents by providing access to instruments like keyboards, guitars, or drums.
• Craft Supplies: Stock up on crafting materials like colored paper, glue, scissors, and other materials to fuel their creative endeavors.
• Imaginative Play Props: Encourage role-playing with dress-up costumes, puppets, and toy figurines for imaginative playtime.

4. Cultivating a Love for Books and Writing

Books are like treasure chests for our unschooling adventure! By offering a vast selection of reading material and encouraging writing exercises, we ignite a passion for literacy that propels their learning journey.

• Library Card: Obtain a library card to make regular visits to the local library and explore a vast array of reading materials.
• Writing Materials: Supply your child with notebooks, journals, and a variety of writing tools to encourage writing and storytelling. •And of course great books!!

5. Connecting with Our Unschooling Tribe

Community connections are the cherry on top! We seek out like-minded families, local groups, and workshops that align with our kids’ interests. Social skills and teamwork blossom when they find their tribe.

• Local Event Calendars: Keep an eye on community event calendars for workshops, seminars, and local gatherings that align with your child’s interests.
• Recreational Passes: Consider investing in passes to local museums, nature reserves, and cultural centers to explore the world around you.

6. Tapping into Online Resources

The internet has become our unschooling treasure trove! Online platforms offer virtual tours, interactive learning, and a wealth of knowledge at our fingertips. It’s a fantastic complement to our offline explorations.

• Educational Apps: Discover reputable educational apps that cover various subjects, providing engaging and interactive learning experiences.
• Virtual Tours: Access virtual tours of museums, historical sites, and national parks to expand their horizons from the comfort of home.

7. Capturing the Joyous Journey

One of the joys of unschooling is celebrating progress, growth, and memorable moments. Keeping a journal or portfolio helps us document the incredible learning experiences and allows us to reflect on the magic we’re creating together.

• Scrapbooking Materials: Create scrapbooks or memory albums to capture the milestones and memorable moments throughout the year.
• Camera or Smartphone: Use a camera or smartphone to snap pictures and videos of your child’s learning adventures and achievements.

As we gear up for another year of unschooling, I’m filled with gratitude to start another year of play and curiosity based learning. Our days are filled with play, creativity, and wonder. Embracing the freedom of unschooling has brought us closer as a family, cherishing the uniqueness of each of my little one’s learning journey. Let’s embark on this unforgettable adventure, supporting and celebrating the magic of emergent learning experiences every step of the way. Together, we’re raising lifelong learners who cherish knowledge and embrace the joy of learning. Happy unschooling, dear friends!

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Emotional Balance: Research-Backed Tips for Moms to Thrive in Motherhood 🌸

Hey there, fellow mamas! As a single mom of two with a master’s degree in child development, I know firsthand the beautiful chaos and incredible joy that comes with being a parent, as well as the struggles of doing it alone and having to face overwhelm and the many burdens that come with adulting and parenting. Motherhood is a journey filled with love, growth, and adventure, but it’s also natural to face moments of overwhelm and stress. Stepping into emotional regulation is a game-changer that can empower us to find our ease and flow in motherhood. In this blog post, I’ll share research-backed tips that have helped me and other mamas navigate the emotional rollercoaster of parenting, allowing us to create a loving and (mostly) harmonious environment for ourselves and our children.

1. Breathe and Be Present: When the day feels overwhelming, take a moment to pause and breathe. Mindful breathing is a research-backed technique that calms the nervous system and reduces stress hormones. By being present in the moment, we can ground ourselves and gain perspective, making it easier to respond to challenges with patience and understanding.

I love starting my day with a guided breathing practice or meditation to make sure I’m not carrying the stressors of the previous day into the new day. You can find a ton of options on YouTube if you want to try a guided practice.


2. Practice Self-Compassion:
As single moms, we are superheroes juggling multiple roles, and it’s normal to have moments of frustration or self-doubt. Instead of being hard on ourselves, let’s practice self-compassion. Acknowledge that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and remember that we’re doing our best. Embracing self-compassion fosters a positive self-image, which impacts how we nurture our children’s emotional well-being.

Post some of your favorite affirmations around the house (my Becoming The Wild Mother Journal includes some awesome affirmations you can hang around the house). Our society can be critical, constantly reminding us of where we can be better, so we have to act as our own advocate in reminding ourselves we are already enough just as we are.


3. Seek Support and Connection:
Building a support network is crucial for single moms. Reach out to friends, family, or join online communities of fellow intentional and conscious parents. (Be careful to not join groups that tell you how you should be but rather support you on your individual journey, my community Becoming The Wild Mother is great for support and connection without judgement!) Research shows that having a strong support system reduces stress and improves emotional well-being. Connecting with others who understand our journey helps us feel understood, lessens the emotional burden, and gives us a safe space to share experiences and seek advice.


4. Embrace Mindful Parenting:
Mindful parenting is about being fully present with our children, observing their emotions and needs with non-judgmental awareness. Research has found that mindful parenting strengthens the parent-child bond and fosters emotional intelligence in children. By practicing mindful parenting, we create a loving and secure environment where our children can thrive emotionally.

This also gives you some mental space as you realize you do not need to redirect and micromanage your child but rather can be a present support providing a safe space in which you trust your child will turn out well rounded as you lead by example.


5. Prioritize Self-Care:
Remember that self-care is not selfish; it’s essential for our well-being as moms. Research-backed studies show that regular self-care reduces stress and enhances emotional resilience. Carve out time each day for activities that bring you joy, whether it’s reading, exercising, or indulging in a hobby. Taking care of ourselves models healthy behavior for our children and teaches them the importance of self-love.

For More Support You Can Join My Course “In Flow Motherhood


6. Teach Emotional Regulation:
As moms, we can teach our children essential emotional regulation techniques. Research supports the effectiveness of methods like identifying emotions, using positive affirmations, and engaging in expressive arts to enhance emotional resilience. By equipping our children with these tools, we help them navigate their emotions and build resilience.

One of the best ways to teach is by leading through example. Pick up habits of deep breathing and self regulation to show yYour child we can bey upset and still express our emotions in a regulated and safe way.

Regulating a dysregulated nervous system can greatly improve emotional well-being. Here are some techniques that can help:

1. Deep Breathing: Engage in slow, deep breathing exercises. Inhale deeply through your nose, expanding your diaphragm, and exhale slowly through your mouth. This can activate the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting relaxation.

2. Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense and release different muscle groups in your body to release physical tension and signal relaxation to your brain.

3. Mindfulness and Meditation: Practice mindfulness to stay present and reduce rumination. Meditation, even for a few minutes a day, can calm an overactive nervous system.

4. Grounding Techniques: Focus on your senses to ground yourself in the present. Notice things around you—sights, sounds, textures—to shift your focus away from distressing thoughts.

5. Sensory Stimulation: Use sensory tools like fidget toys, stress balls, or scented items to provide calming sensations that can regulate your nervous system.

6. Exercise: Engaging in physical activity can help release built-up tension and stimulate the release of endorphins, which promote feelings of well-being.

7. Hydration and Nutrition: Proper hydration and a balanced diet can positively impact your nervous system’s functioning.

8. Limit Stimulants: Reduce or eliminate caffeine, nicotine, and other stimulants, as they can exacerbate nervous system dysregulation.

9. Yoga: Gentle yoga and stretching can promote relaxation and help release physical tension.

10. Aromatherapy: Certain scents, like lavender or chamomile, can have calming effects. Consider keeping these herbs on hand to smell or make tea.

11. Visualizations: Use guided imagery or visualizations of peaceful places to evoke calming responses.

As mindful mamas, we have a deep understanding of our children’s emotional needs but not always our own. By incorporating research-backed emotional regulation tips into our lives, we can find our ease and flow in motherhood, supporting our own emotional needs. Mindful breathing, self-compassion, building a support network, and practicing mindful parenting are powerful ways to enhance our emotional well-being and create a nurturing environment for our children. Prioritizing self-care and teaching emotional regulation to our kids paves the way for a harmonious and fulfilling motherhood journey. Let’s embrace emotional balance and continue to thrive as strong, resilient, and loving moms!

Unschooling: The Evidence-Based Benefits

In recent years, unschooling has gained popularity as a refreshing alternative to traditional education. This child-led, interest-driven approach to learning empowers children to discover the world at their pace, nurturing their natural curiosity and passion for knowledge. Unschooling can pave the way for a fulfilling and enriching educational journey.

As an unschooling mom of two with a master’s degree in child development, I have found ease and confidence in embracing this child-led, interest-driven approach to education. Witnessing my children thrive in their unique learning journeys has strengthened my belief in the power of unschooling. In this blog post, I will share my personal experiences as a parent and child development expert, highlighting the research based benefits of unschooling.

1. Personalized Learning Journey: Research shows that unschooling allows for a highly personalized learning journey tailored to each child’s unique needs and interests. A study published in the Journal of Unschooling and Alternative Learning, reflected that this personalized approach enables children to delve deeply into subjects that resonate with them, fostering a love for learning and promoting long-term academic engagement.


2. Cultivation of Intrinsic Motivation:
A research paper published in the journal Theory and Research in Education highlights that unschooling places a strong emphasis on intrinsic motivation. When children pursue what genuinely captivates them, they become self-motivated learners. This internal drive leads to a deeper engagement with the learning process, making education an enjoyable and fulfilling experience.

Intrinsic motivation is the internal drive that compels individuals to engage in activities for the sheer joy and satisfaction they derive from them, rather than external rewards or pressures. For children, developing intrinsic motivation is a crucial aspect of their overall growth and child development. As an unschooling mom with a master’s degree in child development, I deeply value the significance of fostering this intrinsic motivation in my children’s educational journey.

Intrinsic motivation plays a pivotal role in shaping a sustainable and fulfilling learning journey for children. When kids are intrinsically motivated, their desire to explore and discover remains constant, even when faced with challenges or setbacks. This sustained curiosity drives them to seek knowledge continuously, fostering a lifelong love for learning. Unschooling empowers children to take ownership of their education, making choices based on their interests and passions, instilling a deep sense of responsibility and accountability for their academic growth.

Children intrinsically motivated to learn are more engaged and invested in their activities, willingly investing effort and time into exploring subjects they find fascinating. This heightened engagement leads to a deeper understanding and retention of knowledge. Moreover, intrinsic motivation encourages children to explore subjects in a creative and imaginative manner, seeking innovative solutions to problems and understanding concepts in a meaningful context.

When children achieve success through intrinsic motivation, they develop a positive self-image and heightened self-confidence. Their achievements are not tied to external validation, which boosts their belief in their abilities and strengthens their self-esteem. Intrinsic motivation also cultivates resilience and perseverance in children, as they persist and overcome obstacles when faced with challenges, building a growth mindset.

Unschooling, with its child-led approach, plays a vital role in nurturing intrinsic motivation in children. By allowing them to choose their educational pursuits based on their interests and passions, unschooling empowers children to follow their curiosity and discover the joy of self-directed exploration. In this approach, children develop a strong sense of ownership over their learning, leading to heightened engagement, deepened understanding, and a love for knowledge that transcends the boundaries of traditional education.

I am grateful for the opportunity to witness my children develop intrinsic motivation, knowing it is laying the foundation for a lifelong love of learning and personal growth. By embracing unschooling, we celebrate the innate curiosity and individuality of each child, fostering an environment where their internal motivation thrives.

As children pursue their passions through unschooling, they develop a deep sense of self-confidence and belief in their own abilities.

Dr. Peter Gray


3. Holistic Development:
Studies have shown that unschooling supports holistic development in children. According to research conducted by Peter Gray, a developmental psychologist and advocate of unschooling, children engaged in this approach tend to develop higher levels of emotional intelligence, creativity, and social skills through diverse learning experiences that encompass art, music, nature, and community activities.

Unschooling, an approach that embraces intrinsic motivation and self-directed learning, has shown significant benefits for promoting children’s mental health and holistic development. As an unschooling mom, I firmly believe in the positive impact of this approach on my children’s well-being. Research indicates that unschooling reduces stress and anxiety commonly associated with traditional educational settings. By allowing children to explore their interests and passions freely, unschooling nurtures positive self-concept and a sense of worth based on their unique talents and achievements.

Moreover, unschooling fosters emotional intelligence and empathy through diverse social interactions, contributing to meaningful connections with others and enhancing overall emotional well-being. The approach also promotes resilience and coping skills, as children embrace challenges and learn from failures, gaining adaptability in managing life’s ups and downs. The flexible learning environment of unschooling allows children to prioritize their mental well-being and emotional needs, leading to improved mental health outcomes.

Unschooling empowers children to pursue their passions, fostering creativity, curiosity, and a love for learning. This exploration stimulates the mind and nourishes their natural curiosity, positively impacting mental well-being. Additionally, the strong family bonds cultivated through unschooling play a vital role in supporting children’s mental health and emotional stability.

Research supports the idea that unschooling’s child-centered approach promotes better mental health outcomes. Studies have shown that unschooled children generally exhibit higher levels of well-being, emotional health, and life satisfaction compared to their traditionally-schooled peers. As an unschooling mom with a background in child development, I have witnessed firsthand how my children’s mental and emotional well-being have flourished through this approach. Unschooling’s focus on intrinsic motivation, individuality, and self-directed learning creates a positive and nurturing environment where my children’s mental health and holistic development are prioritized. By fostering a love for learning, supporting emotional intelligence, and nurturing strong family bonds, unschooling proves to be an effective path towards creating emotionally resilient and well-rounded individuals.


4. Flexible and Adaptable:
A study published in the journal Education Sciences emphasizes the adaptability of unschooling. The flexible nature of this approach allows families to cater to each child’s changing interests and needs. Unlike traditional curricula, unschooling enables a learning journey that evolves organically with the child.


5. Real-Life Application:
Numerous research studies have highlighted the real-life application of unschooling. As children actively participate in everyday experiences like cooking, gardening, and community activities, they gain practical skills and develop a deeper understanding of the relevance of their education in daily life.


6. Enhanced Critical Thinking:
Research conducted by educational psychologist Kym Paterson reveals that unschooling fosters enhanced critical thinking skills. Through hands-on exploration of subjects they are passionate about, children encounter challenges and solve problems, leading to a deeper understanding of concepts and a heightened ability to think critically.


7. Building Self-Confidence and resilience:
According to research by psychologist Alison Gopnik, children who experience success in areas of interest develop higher levels of self-confidence. In unschooling, as children take charge of their learning and witness their progress, they develop a strong sense of self-efficacy, empowering them to tackle challenges with determination and resilience.

Unschooling, with its emphasis on intrinsic motivation and self-directed learning, creates an ideal environment for children to develop vital resilience and coping skills. I have personally witnessed how this approach nurtures my children’s emotional strength and fosters their ability to cope with life’s challenges.

In the unschooling setting, children are encouraged to pursue their interests and passions, which fosters a sense of autonomy and ownership over their learning journey. As they encounter obstacles and setbacks, they develop the tenacity to persist and find solutions, building resilience in the face of adversity. This empowerment to take charge of their education helps them develop a growth mindset, where challenges are seen as opportunities for growth and learning.

The flexible nature of unschooling allows children to explore various subjects and activities, nurturing their adaptability and coping skills. They learn to navigate uncertainties and adapt to changing circumstances, essential qualities in the ever-changing landscape of life. Unlike traditional educational settings with rigid structures, unschooling provides space for children to explore at their own pace, allowing them to build resilience in navigating uncertainties and complexities in their educational journey.

Furthermore, unschooling offers a stress-reduced environment, devoid of the pressures often associated with standardized testing and strict academic schedules. Children in unschooling settings are more likely to experience lower levels of anxiety, which contributes to their overall emotional well-being and strengthens their coping abilities. They have the freedom to explore and pursue their interests, creating a sense of joy and fulfillment in their learning experience.

The supportive family environment inherent in unschooling plays a crucial role in fostering resilience and coping skills. The close parent-child relationship nurtures open communication, trust, and emotional support. Children feel safe to express their feelings, navigate emotions, and seek guidance when facing challenges. This emotional support acts as a buffer during difficult times, allowing children to develop effective coping mechanisms and emotional regulation.

Research has shown that unschooled children tend to exhibit higher levels of emotional well-being and life satisfaction compared to their traditionally-schooled peers. Studies conducted by educational psychologists have highlighted that unschooling nurtures emotional resilience, problem-solving skills, and adaptability in children.

Unschooling offers a nurturing environment for children to develop resilience and coping skills, key attributes that contribute to their emotional strength and well-being. By embracing their interests, facing challenges with determination, and benefiting from a supportive family environment, unschooled children gain the tools to navigate life’s ups and downs with grace and confidence.

8. Empowering Independence:
A research study published in the Journal of Unschooling and Alternative Learning shows that unschooling encourages children to be independent thinkers and decision-makers. They take ownership of their education, set goals, and explore subjects autonomously, nurturing a sense of responsibility for their learning journey.

The joy of unschooling is witnessing children flourish as they follow their interests and take ownership of their learning.

Dr. Peter Gray


9. Lifelong Learning Mindset:
Research by educational psychologist Carol Dweck suggests that unschooling instills a lifelong learning mindset in children. By experiencing the joy of self-directed exploration, children develop a love for learning that extends beyond formal education, embracing curiosity and intellectual growth throughout their lives.

The evidence-based benefits of practicing unschooling revolutionize the traditional notion of education. Supported by research and citations, unschooling empowers children to become self-motivated, creative, and critical thinkers. It fosters a love for learning, nurtures individuality, and celebrates the uniqueness of each child’s educational journey. Through this liberating and enriching method, families embark on a path of exploration, discovery, and empowerment, laying the foundation for a lifetime of continuous curiosity and intellectual growth.

For support on learning to unschool confidently you can join my guided course on what you need to know!

Becoming The Wild Mother

The past two years I have been stepping away from the crunchy mom way of life and stepping into wild mothering.

For me, the transition was a natural part of my healing process. The last three years, especially the two after leaving my marriage, have been primarily focused on healing. I let go of bad habits, hurtful people, and primarily, mindsets that were impeding me from stepping into my power and flow within life.

Wild mothering for me, is allowing myself to be untamed and unimpeded in my flow.
My intuition, my joy, and my love for my life and love for myself lead the way – not fear.

It sounds like common sense – to live aligned with our intuition and out of love – but fear is so prominent in our current society it’s challenging for it to not get a hold on us.

When I had began my journey into the crunchy mom life, I was deeply influenced by fear. If I’m being honest, fear ran my life.

As soon as I was pregnant, the fearful comments poured in. Hospital birth is dangerous, home birth is dangerous, this and that problem can happen in pregnancy, etc., etc. No one ever asked what I intuitively felt was the best path for me, but rather tried to influence me towards what they thought was best using fear.

I’ve always said, I went into motherhood knowing too much. I had a BA in developmental psychology, an MA in child development and nearly ten years of experience working in the field. And while yes, that had its benefits, it also had its downfalls. I knew all of the research and was hyper aware of developmental milestones, typical development, developmental disorders, and the causes behind things not going “typical.” It was a lot of pressure and rather overwhelming feeling fully responsible for every little aspect of my child.

While outsiders projected their fears onto my motherhood experience, I also created a lot of fears around not be able to fully implement the “optimal parenting” I had learned getting my masters degree. But there is no optimal parenting – there is only healthy and aligned parenting. Once I released the idea of some optimal, perfect, way to mother, parenting became a lot easier with more flow and space to find my own ease with my children.

One of the first big life changes that led me in the direction of Wild mothering rather than crunchy mom life, was my free birth. I had made parenting decisions from my intuition previously, but they were also decisions made from fear, research, and outside influences. My free birth was a decision I made purely from wisdom. It just felt right for me.

Having a free birth that I truly loved seemed to free me in motherhood, and while I still had a lot of healing and learning to do after my free birth three years ago, it was the beginning of unraveling my fears and the control they had over my life.

“I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you, and that you will work with these stories… water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom.”

― Clarissa Pinkola Estés

To love motherhood, to be present within motherhood without resentment and without burnout, we have to release the hold our fears have on us and begin parenting from a space of trust. We have to trust ourselves to show up, to know what’s best, and to know that when we’re having trouble showing up in a way that’s aligned, we’ll learn how to become aligned.

Once we feel untamed and unimpeded, we can feel confident, secure, and even at peace within motherhood.

Featured

Disconnection – Shifting To An Intentional & Connected Life

 So many of us face the story of disconnect. Stuck in the cycle of rush, moving too quickly, to really pay attention to our present environment. A cycle that keeps many of us depleted, exhausted, and aching for something more. And there is a way to get more.

We can’t just say that we want the world to be different and keep living the same.

It’s our job to start living the way that we want to see the world change. That includes doing what we can to start creating more connection in our lives. From building communities, to slowing down in our own homes, to making home and connection the center of our lives rather than money and productivity. For me- this looks like child led homeschooling, practicing homestead skills like cooking from scratch and gardening, and slowing down to be more intentional in how I spend my time.

We can start living in ways that replenish our minds and our bodies rather than the ways that deplete us.

Reading, listening, and deep diving into my own passions, I have mulled over the idea of living a connected life time and time again. I do believe a connected life will look different for everyone but there are a few things that are core to living a more connected life: living aligned with what brings you joy, quality time with those you love, and community.

As we fall into a routine on our new 10 acres and old farmhouse – our farm – I noticed the days have become longer. As if I somehow now have more hours in the day, as if I can somehow now get more done with the same amount of time than I could before. I’m able to get my to do list done, for the most part, and still have time to rest and play. I thought maybe I would get overwhelmed running a farm on top of running a business and homeschooling, but honestly things have somehow felt easier. It is, of course, never perfect, and stressful moments still arise, but things are easier even though it’s technically more work, because I am doing things I love. The daily work nourishes me rather than depletes me as I flow through each bit of work with gratitude. It’s not about doing less but doing more of what feels you with joy, ease, and passion.

As we dove into our passions, as we heal, as we create more space for the things we love, we will start to fill a shift in our energy. I am asked nearly every day how I have the energy to do all that I do and everyone wants a quick fix or easy trick that will somehow make them super human and able to take on more than any human should, but the truth is the key is in setting boundaries, getting clear on your priorities, and realigning your life to flow with ease so that it takes less energy (if this sound likes what you need check out my Burnout to Badass Course where we deep dive and transform your life to take your energy and confidence back).

Burnout IS disconnection. Once we hit burnout, it’s nearly impossible to be present, even when we are doing the things we enjoy. We just cease to have the energy. There is a process of healing and recovery that must take place between burnout and connection, but it doesn’t have to be checking out of life. It can happen within community, within support, within connecting with ourselves our passions and those we love.

Let’s be the change we want to see. Let’s step into a space of connection and lead our families to a life of connection.

Mores Resources:

Child Led Homeschooling Course

Bear Become Aware: A Slow Living Book For Kids

Preparing For A Home Birth

Home birth is a beautiful and grounding birth option that allows you to experience birth your own way from the comfort of your home. 

Home birth may be an option for you if:

•You are having a healthy, low-risk pregnancy

•You want to avoid an episiotomy, cesarean section, epidural and other similar interventions

•You want to share the experience with family and friends

•You want to be free to move around, change positions, take a shower, and eat or drink freely during labor

•You want to enjoy the comforts of your home and familiar surroundings

https://americanpregnancy.org/labor-and-birth/home-birth

Benefits of Home Birth:

“Benefits of planned home birth include lower rates of maternal morbidity, such as postpartum hemorrhage, and perineal lacerations, and lower rates of interventions such as episiotomy, instrumental vaginal birth, and cesarean birth.”

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4399594/

“An average uncomplicated vaginal birth costs about 60% less in a home than in a hospital.”

https://americanpregnancy.org/labor-and-birth/home-birth/

Birth Supplies:

Although you don’t need much more than your body to give birth, it’s helpful to have plenty of supplies to create a comforting and relaxing environment that can address any issues should they arise.

The birth supplies you’ll need will depend on whether you’re having a midwife or an unassisted birth. If you’re getting a midwife, you’ll want to ask what they will supply, otherwise you’ll need to get most items yourself.

This post may contain affiliate links. As an affiliate, I may receive a small stipend for any purchases made on links with no additional cost to you.

Helpful Gear:

If using a birth pool and planning a water birth, there are a few additional items you may want or need.

  • Lead-free potable water hose
  • Sink water hose adapter
  • Fish net (in case any accidents happen in the pool)

The Basics:

  • Extra sheets, towels, and rags
  • Thermometer
  • Underpads
  • Plastic sheet or shower curtain liner

Setting The Environment:

  • Dim lighting options
  • Essential oils

Comfort & Pain Management:

  • Birth gown for mom
  • Organic Herbal Heating Pad
  • Ice Pack
  • Healthy Snacks
    • Homemade fruit popsicles
    • Peanut butter
    • Vegetable Broth or Soup
    • Any quick & easy healthy snacks you love!

Unassisted Birth Medical Gear:

Home Birth On Your Own Terms: A How To Guide For Birthing Unassisted

•Hanging Weight Scale

•Blood Pressure Cuff and Stethoscope

•Umbilical Cord Clamp

•Kleenprint Footprint

For Baby:

  • Newborn diapers
  • Receiving blankets
  • Birthday cake (for family to celebrate!)

You may also like: Natural Ways to Prepare Your Body for an Easy and Intervention-Free Birth and The Best Resources For Planning Your Ideal Birth

5 Tips For Attachment Parenting

How To Succeed at Attachment Parenting

Parenting is hard. Yes, there are ways it can be easier and times it can be easier, and people who say it’s easy (are we really buying that story?), but can we just all agree parenting is hard.

If you are an attachment parent, I am pretty sure you’ve already heard “you’re just making it harder on yourself,” or some other variation of that.

First off, not cool. No one wants to hear criticisms on their parenting ESPECIALLY when you are just trying to do what feels right and what you feel is best for your baby. Yet, I don’t think this will be changing anytime soon.

An argument can be made that attachment parenting makes parenting harder, and basically, everyone (who doesn’t follow as an attachment parenting style) wants to make that argument, but it doesn’t have to. If you go about it with a few things in mind, attachment parenting can actually make parenting easier. Ya, that’s right, EASIER.

If you haven’t heard of it or are just starting to learn your options as a new or expecting mom, attachment parenting is basically an approach to parenting that aims to support your baby’s attachment to you (and possibly other caregivers) as well as meeting baby’s needs promptly (aka responsive caregiving). 

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This all-natural style instructs parents to be in tune with their child’s needs . . . Attachment parents . . . respond to an infant’s demands immediately and respectfully.

https://parentology.com/what-is-attachment-parenting/

As an attachment parent myself, as well as a parenting coach, I decided to share my tips on making attachment parenting easy!

1. Follow Your Gut

Stick to what feels right. Do not let people push you around or guilt you into thinking you are doing the wrong thing for your little one. As long as you love and are connected to your little ones, your gut will know what’s right for them. Mom instincts are real and you should trust them.

2. Stay Connected But Promote Confidence

It is great and a part of attachment parenting to be responsive and available to your little one. I have found a lot of parents get confused on how to both be attached and responsive but also promote confidence and independence in your child.

The key is to maintain your responsiveness but encourage them to problem solve and engage with the world on their own with you as their safe base. Contrary to common belief, attachment parenting actually promotes independence as children feel safe to explore when they have a secure attachment.

3. Surround Yourself With Like Minded Mamas

Friendships and like-minded individuals are more necessary than ever, especially if you are a stay at home parent. It is important to connect with others who share your view on parenting because attachment parenting is not a mainstream form of parenting, so you may feel criticized or like you are going against the grain often. Having mamas with these similar experiences allows you to share your real experience of motherhood without feeling judged and also connect on a deeper level. 

4. Self Care & More Self Care

I have always been bad at self care. I love being productive and doing things for others, so it has never been my strong suit, but becoming a mom has made me realize how important self care is. I now practice self care more than ever because it truly makes me a better mom.

Self care can look any way you want it to, but make sure you are taking time for yourself. As an attachment parent, we put our child’s needs first, but don’t forget your child needs a calm and collected parent as well. Also, practicing self care will be a great life-long example to your child on how to care for themselves. 

My self care includes solo coffee shop time or with a close friend, bubble baths, going on a run or hitting the gym. Part of attachment parenting is having a small circle of care for your child.

If you do not have a present partner, try to find a family member or occasional nanny who is supportive of attachment parenting and can step in occasionally so you can get some time for yourself as well. Although we exclusively breastfed, we made solo mom time possible by dad being close by at a park or on a walk so we could still feed on demand when needed.

5. Find Relevant Resources

Find resources for attachment parenting. Stick to resources for parenting that you know will be kind and friendly to your parenting style.

As an attachment parent, you can’t pick up any random parenting book and expect it to work for you, in fact a lot of parenting books make suggestions contrary to current research and attachment style parenting. Ask experienced attachment parents or find groups on Facebook. I also love these resources!

GreenMamaLife Facebook

Natural Parenting Group on Facebook

“Whatever you want to do, if you want to be great at it, you have to love it and be able to make sacrifices for it.”

Maya Angelou


100% Organic Gender Neutral Baby Clothes

You may also like: 6 Reasons Why You Need to Stop Commenting On My Parenting – Natural Parenting and The Best Modern, Gentle Parenting Books

6 Reasons Why You Need to Stop Commenting On My Parenting – Natural Parenting

Why You Are Wrong About My Parenting

I am SO tired of everyone’s comments on my parenting, and apparently, I’m not the only one. Being a part of a few crunchy/natural-style parenting groups on Facebook, I see it every day. The mom crying for help because she is tired of arguing with everyone about her parenting style. I’m not sure why everyone is extra keen on commenting on the mom who is trying attachment or gentle parenting, but it needs to stop. And here is why.

1. You don’t know my kid

First off, I am the mom and know my child best. I spend basically all my time with this human and know all about her. I think you, who has never met my kid or only seen her a few times, have no reason to think you somehow know what is better for her than me.

2. No, I’m not spoiling my kid

If you’ve read any current research on parenting or child development, you would know how important attachment is. I am focusing on my child’s attachment and well-being, and no, I am not spoiling her. Love does not spoil a child, got it?

3. No, my child will not be stuck to me forever

Do you know what doesn’t make needy kids? Kids with their needs met. Meeting my kid’s needs (physically and emotionally) will enable her to feel more able and independent in the world. She doesn’t need to learn to be without me, she needs to learn that she is safe and cared for in the world so she can pursue her own life and not worry about her needs being met.

4. I Need Support

Parenting is hard enough. Even if I was doing something wrong, criticizing me is not the way to help. Present me with your reasoning and maybe we can talk, but in the end, what I really need to be a better mom is support, not your advice.

5. It Feels Wrong

Even if I decided to suddenly follow your parenting advice, I wouldn’t be okay. I parent from the gut and do what I feel is best and natural, so if I follow your advice now I know I wouldn’t feel like myself.

6. I Didn’t Ask.

Need I say more?

“Motherhood: All the love begins and ends there.” ― Nitya Prakash

You may also like: If You Have Something Nice To Say, Say It